Food Choices Are Not Erratic

Today in class I noticed that a child whose mother thought no longer ate cheese was eating cheese.  I asked mom about this and she responded that since the child was offered cheese in class several weeks ago she is eating it again at home, but not orange cheese.  I explained that although this seemed erratic, it is typical and normal.  Our children eat not just what they know they enjoy due to taste, smell, appearance or texture, but what they are nutritionally drawn toward.

 So how do we, as mindful a parents, know what our children need nutritionally each meal or day?  We don’t, so our job is to offer a variety of healthy food over the course of the day.   Don’t fall into the trap of offering what you think your child will eat or not offering foods that they have previously refused.  This back fires in two ways.  One, even though a child ate a food once, or even if that food has been the favorite food for a few days, that doesn’t necessarily indicate the child will eat it at this time.  Two, if you only offer foods you believe your child will accept, you will slowly narrow food choices and eventually decide that you have a picky eater.

 When it is time for a snack or meal, think: what would I like my child to eat, what do I have, what is manageable at this time (do you want to cook or not, do you have a short or long time for eating, etc?).  Once you have made this choice put the food in front of your child.  They can eat or not.  Of course you can always choose to offer the current favorite food once or twice a day, as part of any meal or snack. But keep rotating in a variety of fruits, vegetables, grains, meats, dairy products, beans, nuts, seeds, oils, and fish as every food has it’s own unique nutritional profile.  You have done your job.

An Unscientific Study

As mindful as we try to be, there are times when our child’s behavior seems to make no sense to us.  This is no rational pattern or reason nor is there any developmental theory to support what we observe.  However you are looking at only one child.  I have had the pleasure of observing children eat and talking to parents for the past 20 years, in a child care settings and in classes with parents present.  I have made a few unscientific, non-research based observations.

Some babies will prefer to drink their meals.  No matter how mindfully you set the stage for a meal your baby or child drinks but not eats or very little.  I have heard this more often from parents of boys than of girls.  Babies between the ages of 6 months and 12 months should be fed on demand.  If your baby is able to take solids, offer solid food before the breast, bottle or cup.  If you have a drinker over 12 months of age and able to take solids, you can and should limit milk to 16 ounces (2 cups) a day.  Your child will probably not like this and may put up quite a fuss.  But as a mindful parent you will tell your child that to be healthy he needs to try more than milk.  You don’t need to force solids, but by limiting milk your child will soon increase their desire for solids.

The other common observation reported to me by parents is that a baby who once took semi soft solids is now refusing them.  When I suggest that the parent try crunchy and more textured foods the baby usually responds by eating once again.  It seems that for some babies, once they have experienced soft solids they are ready to move on.  This sometimes happens at the same time the baby is determined to feed themselves.  So go with it.  Your baby will come back to semi-solids eventually, but now they want to explore what is new.  Embrace this and let them try some Cheerios or especially made infant puffs.  Put a few in front of your baby and see what happens.

No Dessert Unless You Eat Your Dinner

“No dessert unless you eat your dinner.”  Does that remind you of yourself when you come home from work?  Is that how you want your kids to remember you? As the parent that is gone all day, comes home, yells at the kids and denies them dessert?  Probably not.  You are likely a very loving, concerned, hard working parent.  So don’t let meal time make you in to the bad guy or girl.

 When the family sits down to eat, don’t comment on what your kids are eating or not.  Whoever provided the meal has already done the adult job, offering appropriate food at appropriate intervals.  At this point you have three jobs.  First is to model table manners, and correct inappropriate table manners.  Second is to model food acceptance by eating and enjoying the food.  Third is to have conversation with your children.  Don’t talk about anything that would make your child uncomfortable at the table, find other times to discuss problems.  Family meals are not the time to reprimand for past poor judgment, errors, or moments of downright meanness, or to warn against similar errors in the future.  Think of the dinner table as a place where everyone comes with a clean slate.

 If your child refuses to eat a certain food, or eat nothing at all, be nonjudgmental.  Feel free to remind them that if they are hungry now is the time to eat and that there will be no food offered after dinner.  Don’t let them have anything that is not on the table.  Don’t let them make a snack after dinner.  You don’t have to punish them for not eating; hunger will be a natural consequence if they choose not to eat. 

 Some children have eaten enough calories (energy) and met their nutritional needs in the 4-5 eating opportunities they had previous to dinner time.  Therefore by dinner time they can afford to be picky.  If a child hasn’t fulfilled their energy and nutritional needs and chooses not to eat, their body will provide appropriate feedback.  You don’t have to.  You can continue to enjoy your meal and your family.

What about dessert?  Let your child eat it whether they have eaten or not.  Don’t get into a power struggle.  An appropriate portion of dessert is not a big deal.  Arguing, bribing, or negotiating with your child every night is the problem, not the dessert  If your child has already consumed the necessary nutrients and calories they need for the day, they are eating the dessert solely because it taste good, which is why everyone eats dessert.  If your child did not get enough calories and nutrients during the day, eating the dessert will not satisfy their body.  They will be hungry in short order; their body is providing the feedback, not you.  If they ask for snack, remind them that they chose not to eat dinner and that now they need to wait for snack.  Some children do very well when the dessert is offered during the dinner.  The child will eat their portion of dessert first so the tension is gone.  Now they can enjoy the meal. They will eat if they are still hungry.  You are smiling, relaxed, calm, and happy to be home with your family.

Moving on the Finger Foods

Babies usually let us know when they are ready for solids.  They keenly watch our every bite, lean towards our food, and point at it.  Most of us feel guilty for eating in front of them.  The mindful parent sees these cues, which are hard to ignore, and starts to feed their baby solids.  But how do you know when your baby is ready for finger foods and no longer needs purees and thick, liquid foods?  The signs are there, if you know where to look.

 Finger foods are foods that are solid, but soft or easily chewed, such as Cheerios, cooked beans, pieces of banana, skinned banana, canned peach or pear, steamed carrots, boneless salmon, shredded cheese, tofu, berries and slices of toast are but a few.  People foods are the foods you regularly feed your family, with the exception of choking foods such as (but not limited to) most raw vegetables, hard apples and fruit with the peel, hard small candies and nuts, whole hot dogs, and any thick goopy food like a dollop of peanut butter or cream cheese.

Keep in mind that physical development goes along with progression of foods, from purees to finger foods to people foods.  Be mindful and look for the signs of readiness.  Your baby started solids when they were able to push up on their arms with straight elbows while resting on their belly, had good head control and was a supported sitter.  When your child has progressed to being a very stable sitter, pulls up to stand, and can hold small objects between their thumb and first finger, they are usually ready for finger foods.  You will observe this, on average, between 8-10 months but age is not important. 

Don’t hold your child back by continuing with exclusively purred foods.  It’s more work for you and not the right work for them.  Your child needs to be able to explore developmentally appropriate foods just like they need developmentally appropriate play objects and environments.   Part of their work when they can pick up small objects is to pick up small objects.  Let your child learn to use their hands to get food into their mouths.  Let them learn that it is easier to pick up peas than applesauce.  Let them hold their own (open mouth) cup and learn to control the direction and flow of water.  Yes, this will be messy, but parents knows that practice makes perfect.  So you need to let them practice.

Beverly Pressey is a Registered Dietician with Master’s degrees in Education and Nutrition and specializes in working with care givers of babies and children.  Beverly has worked with individuals, presented at conferences, consulted with child care centers, taught continuing education and college classes, and presented at numerous parent groups.  As an experienced counselor, cook, teacher, speaker and a mother of 2, she has a realistic understanding of infant/child eating patterns plus the perspective of a busy parent.  Beverly lives in Seattle, Washington, find out more about her and her book at www.creatinghealthyeaters.com.

Packed Lunch for your Preschooler

Your child is ready to go to pre-school or kindergarten!  You have done all you can to prepare him or her for this experience.  Oh, but you will also need to pack a lunch.  If you find yourself dead in your tracks here are some ideas and suggestions.

First, keep in mind the rules you have established about meals: Don’t ask them what they want in their lunch.  Just pack what you would like them to eat.

Don’t expect the teacher to monitor your child’s eating.  It’s not fair to ask a teacher to make sure your child eats some of the sandwich before they eat their cookies.  If you don’t want your child to eat just cookies for lunch, don’t put them in the lunch.  Put in as many cookies, or chips, etc.  that would be ok for your child to eat.  Accept the fact that some days they will only eat certain foods.  But if they are hungry, they will eat more than just the fun food.

Only send foods that your child can eat independently without choking. 

One way to kill a child’s appetite is to give them juice or a caloric sports drink.  They will most likely drink this and then feel full.  Send water or milk if the milk can be kept cold.

Don’t get too hung up on sandwiches.  Some kids love them, some don’t.  Finger foods work well too.  Instead of a sandwich you can send some cheese slices or cubes, crackers, fruit and a cookie.  If your school allows it, send some nuts, raisins and cereal mix, add carrot sticks and chips.

Don’t forget about yogurt, send them with vanilla or plain and give them something to add, such as fruit, a teaspoon of sugar sprinkles, or honey.  Yogurt can be kept cold by freezing it before you put it in the lunch.  Food in squeezable packaging are also fun for kids.  Unfortunately the yogurts in tubes have a lot of sugar in them so consider them a dessert.  You may be able to find applesauce in a tube.   Kids also like to dip.  Think about sending pretzels or carrot sticks with a bean dip such as hummus or refried beans.  A cold cooked chicken drumstick can be dipped in ketchup or bar-b-que sauce.

Plain beans also make good finger foods.  Cold defrosted vegetables are also good finger foods.  Pack a small amount of frozen corn, peas, or edamame.  They will be defrosted and cool by lunch time.  Small previously baked potatoes are also good for dipping in ketchup.  Sliced apples tend to turn brown and then the kids don’t eat them.  You can sprinkle them with a little lemon juice to prevent browning or use other fruits.  Grapes, strawberries and blueberries are great choices.  Cut up other fruits, such as melon, peaches, nectarines or plums.  You can make a fruit salad or a fruit kebob.  Half a banana, still in the peel is also a good option as well as orange wedges.

 Kids always like noodles.  Many will eat a simple pasta salad consisting of cooked pasta, sliced olives and some shredded mozzarella cheese.  Anything on a toothpick is also fun.  You can put some cooked tortellini on a toothpick with cherry tomatoes or pieces of avocado.  Roll up some slices of turkey or chunks of cold cooked chicken and put them on a toothpick, with pieces of soft fruit such as peaches or nectarines.  Hard boiled eggs are fun for some kids.  Give them some dressing to dip it in.  Only send foods such as tuna, egg, salmon, or chicken salad with mayonnaise if the lunch will be refrigerated.

Overall, be creative.  Don’t worry about what is eaten or not.  Try to send at least one item that you know your child will eat.  It’s also OK is they have the same lunch every day; you can add variety at home meals and snacks.

Avoiding Childhood Obesity in 3 Steps

The March issue of Pediatrics had an article entitled  “Household Routines and Obesity in U.S. Preschool-Aged Children”  It stated that “Preschool children exposed to three household routines — regularly eating family meals, getting adequate sleep, and limiting screen-viewing time — had a roughly 40 percent lower prevalence of obesity than those exposed to none of these routines.”  Notice the word “routines”.  This infers that these practices are a regular part of your daily pattern of life. 

Becoming a parent means purposely deciding which actions and reactions you will weave into your life style in order to support the growth and development of your child.  Once established, you have routines, habits and custom that support your intent to parent . 

Obesity is an issue that we are all aware of.  It’s cause if multi-factorial.  There are many sources working against you; media, marketing, and entertainment.  Visual and audio cues are everywhere.  You can choose to fight.  Choosing three routines can lessen the chance of your child becoming obese by 60%.

• Have family meals
• No screen time for children under 2, 1 hour /day for children under age 5
• Support and respect your child’s need for adequate sleep.

In addition to decreasing the chance of obesity, there are other benefits.  If you embrace these routines you won’t have to decide on a daily basis if your child can watch TV or other screens.  You don’t have to wonder who will be available for dinner.  You will automatically schedule activities that end before bedtimes.  These become the natural customs and habits of your family.

The Exploration of Eating

 Have you already noticed how your child experiences almost everything new by mouthing it?   They will pick up any object, look at it, move it from hand to hand, examine it, and then put it in their mouth.  It is normal and instinctual for your new eater to want to experience the food before it enters his or her mouth.  After all, food presents new colors, smells, and textures.  As self preservation, a little experimentation is natural. 

 Beginning eaters are usually willing to be fed by spoon, but a parent mindful of their child’s cues may quickly notice that their new eater wants more involvement in the eating process.  Let your child touch, smear, spread, lick, tap, pat and finger the food.  If the amount available to them is small, (about a teaspoon, or 2 peas) the mess will be minimal.  Also allow the tiniest tastes and the rejecting of food, via pushing it out with their tongue or just refusing it.  At first babies may want to do this every time they are offered food.  However, allowing this experience creates a child willing to accept and eat a wider variety of foods.  Remember, many babies need to have a food offered 10-12 times before they are willing to accept it and eat it on a regular basis with little muss or fuss.

 If you just cannot allow your baby to physically touch the food, you can offer similar experimenting opportunities.  Put just the littlest amount of a new food on the spoon and bring it to the child’s lips.  Let your child touch the food, or not, with their tongue.  This will also give your child the opportunity to taste and smell the food.  Young children have a much better sense of smell than adults.  Many babies feel a part of the process by trying to feed themselves.  Let your child have their own spoon while you continue to feed with a spoon.  Whatever experiences you can allow them will make feeding time easier and more enjoyable for both of you.

 As always, offer food to your baby, let them eat it or not.  If they reject the foods offered, you have done your job.  It is time to move on, not to other foods, but to another activity.  Keep meals enjoyable by following your baby’s pace and interest.  They will receive the nutrients they need if you offer a variety of healthy foods over the course of the day and allow them to eat to satiety.

 Beverly Pressey is a Registered Dietician with Master’s degrees in Education and Nutrition and specializes in working with care givers of babies and children.  Beverly has worked with individuals, presented at conferences, consulted with child care centers, taught continuing education and college classes, and presented at numerous parent groups.  As an experienced counselor, cook, teacher, speaker and a mother of 2, she has a realistic understanding of infant/child eating patterns plus the perspective of a busy parent.  Beverly lives in Seattle, Washington, find out more about her and her book at www.creatinghealthyeaters.com

Helping Your Child Maintain a Normal Weight

 Here it is, nice and simple:

Biggest Indicators for Weight Maintenance

·         No solids before 4 months

·         Breastfed, then family meals

·         Enough sleep

4-12 months: 14-16 hours/day

1-3 years: 12-14 hours/day

3-6 years: 10-12 hours/day 

·         No TV before age 2, limited TV after

“Preschool children exposed to three household routines — regularly eating family meals, getting adequate sleep, and limiting screen-viewing time — had a roughly 40 percent lower prevalence of obesity than those exposed to none of these routines. The study, “Household Routines and Obesity in U.S. Preschool-Aged Children,” published in the March issue of Pediatrics

·         Very limited sugar beverages

Decrease or Eliminate:

Juice

Soda

Sweetened teas, sports or vitamin drinks

·          Limited sugar–added foods

“High-fructose corn syrup and sucrose are both compounds that contain the simple sugars fructose and glucose, but there at least two clear differences between them. First, sucrose is composed of equal amounts of the two simple sugars — it is 50 percent fructose and 50 percent glucose — but the typical high-fructose corn syrup used in this study features a slightly imbalanced ratio, containing 55 percent fructose and 42 percent glucose. Larger sugar molecules called higher saccharides make up the remaining 3 percent of the sweetener. Second, as a result of the manufacturing process for high-fructose corn syrup, the fructose molecules in the sweetener are free and unbound, ready for absorption and utilization. In contrast, every fructose molecule in sucrose that comes from cane sugar or beet sugar is bound to a corresponding glucose molecule and must go through an extra metabolic step before it can be utilized.”  News at Princeton

·         Maternal restrictive eating practices

The more a parent interfers, the less the child follows their own internal cues for hunger and satiety.

Mixed Marriages

There are many mixed marriages out there.  Carnivores are married to vegans, vegetarians are married to omnivores, raw foodists are married to those who only eat locally grown food, fast food junkies are married to those with lactose intolerance.  So how can a person plan for family meals when each adult has specific food rules, and how to raise the children?

I am all for exposing children to the food traditions, likes and preferences of all adults involved in raising a child.   As the children get older they will ask why certain foods are eaten or not eaten by certain individuals.  This is a great time to discuss food choices, values, traditions and preferences.  Let your children know why you are an omnivore, vegetarian, etc.  Then let them experiment with the foods and ideas presented at your table.   If meat is serve for one family member it should be available for the kids.  If a child wants to follow the lead of the raw food parent, for a meal, a day or forever, let them.   Forcing a child to eat only the foods of one parent or caregiver, when the other parent is eating different foods at the meal can be confusing and sometimes upsetting to a child. Don’t have someone the odd person out.  Don’t extend more or less  value to the choices of one person over the other.

As I have advised against making special food for a child, you don’t want to make special food for a spouse or partner because they only eat raw food.  Make meals that are inclusive.  Have two hearty side dishes, each representing a different food path, or make a main dish representing one type food selection with a side dish, salad or soup representing another.  Perhaps a large raw foods salad, grilled fish and local corn on the cob.  Everyone can eat what meets their own needs.

Enjoy the variety we are fortunate enough to have.  Keep an open mind to the choices of others.  For best healthy eat  a variety of whole simple foods.  Your and your children will thrive,  whatever you choose.

New Foods For New Babies

Food introduction for new parents can be daunting.  There are many books, charts and experts to tell you what to do and how to do it.  But by observing your child you will know more than the experts.  To get started, here are several simple reminders:

• Make sure your child is ready for solids.  You will know when this happens as your child will, all of a sudden, intently focus on you when you eat.
• Offer any food that is the proper consistency.  (Think applesauce, or a little thinner.)  You don’t have to start with rice cereal, or offer vegetables before fruits.  Meats or fish, if they are moist and the consistency of applesauce are as good as pureed carrots or blended bananas.  The only food NOT to offer is honey, either room temperature or cooked into a food.  Honey may contain a heat-resistant botulism that can be fatal to infants.
• It is not your job to get your child to eat.  Just offer a small amount of food on a small spoon—if your child opens his or her mouth, put the food in.  If your child pushed is out with their tongue or gag after 2 tries, stop.  Decrease the thickness of the food. 
• A grimace is not an indication that your child does not want the food again.  Watch what your child does when you offer the next spoonful.  Only top feeding when your child does not open his or her mouth when the spoon approaches, pushes the food away, or keeps looking away. 
• Offer only one new food every 3^rd day.  After each new food look for signs of allergy, including but not limited to vomiting, rash, swelling of lips or tongue, or diarrhea.  If there is any breathing difficulty, call 911 immediately.
• Mindful parents don’t entertain at mealtimes and don’t distract the eating process with games, video or music.  Let your child set the pace of the feeding.  Let them decide when they have had enough to eat, whether they ate nothing or more than they have ever eaten before.
• Your child knows best what they need.  Remember that children’s eating patterns are inconsistent.  Eating a certain amount one day does not mean that the child will usually eat this amount.  Eating or rejecting a food one day does not mean they will eat or reject the same food any other day.  Food acceptance and quantity will change day-to-day and meal to meal.